Couples counselling works best when there is a common goal that is meaningful and congruent for both partners. Where this is not the case, it’s good to be aware of it up front, so that differences can be explored and common ground found, where possible. Here’s a set of questions I encourage couples to explore at the beginning of therapy, both individually and together. If you’re considering having some support, they are well worth reflecting on ahead of time.
1. What brings you to couples counselling?
2. Why now?
3. What are your goals for counselling?
4. What will be difference once your goals have been met?
5. How important is this to you both? What benefits will it bring?
6. How will you know when your goals for counselling are met?
7. What's your understanding of the issues?
8. How do you think change might occur?
9. What are you prepared to commit to do differently to meet your goals?
10. What are you prepared to let go of to move forwards?
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